Week 1 - COVID19

Has any one else noticed how quiet the world feels? As I was hanging up laundry yesterday, a result of attempting to deep clean my house, I felt this silence consume me and the mundane task I was doing. Foreign, unnerving, almost threatening, the silence crept through the air altering life as it passed by. I have had my share of reality checks, but this was quite like nothing I have experienced before. 

I am fairly certain that this past week has been the longest week of my life. The abrupt changes and disruption this pandemic brought to our world were challenging to accept. Our comfortable lives were blindsided by the COVID19 amtrak. Some may say fear, media, political parties, or the Russians are driving this high speed wrecking ball. To me, it is a moot point. We need to focus on the trajectory and potential destinations this track has. I have heard a couple of weeks, to months, to a full year before we go back to "normal life". And instead of normal, I would like to say back to a life where we can exercise our freedom, experience a functioning economy, attend a worship service, engage with one another. 

I have yet to sort through what the COVID19 pandemic actually means. I understand the physical symptoms of the Corona Virus, and that immune compromised and elderly individuals are considered high risk if they contract the virus. I understand like any virus, it is highly contagious and there are no treatment options if infected, other than to ride it out. From a health standpoint I feel aware, however the social, financial, economical, and psychological tentacles associated with COVID19 are so immense I cannot stretch my arms wide enough to grasp them. This defined pandemic has rocked our social lives this past week, but there will be significant lingering impacts for years to come. 

In some ways, this pandemic feels like our life since Chasens diagnosis: 

Blindsided by shocking news. 

Attempt to sort through the facts. 

Adjust to a new normal. 

This loop was on repeat for our family for almost 3 years, but this feels so different. This time I am going through this loop with my friends, family, teammates, and neighbors but I still am not able to relate. Maybe I am looking at COVID19 through the wrong lens.

To me, it is no surprise this pandemic is raging through this country during the Lenten season. I pray that by the Monday after Easter (when Iowa schools are to resume) we all experience a resurrection. As we experience the effects of COVID19 in our homes, in our personal, social, and professional lives, I would ask for all of you to look for opportunities. Look for ways to reflect, to find purpose, to make progress. Let the silence consume you. Settle, fast, and pray. Pray for our medical community, for those that are ill, for the family that has $10 in their checking account, for the farmers that watch the markets plummet, for our elderly that fear to leave their home, and for our future generation. If we focus on the fear and the unknown, COVID19 will continue to cause havoc. 

In every struggle there is victory. Let's make the pain of this experience count.

Salt

Have you ever heard the phrase pouring salt on an open wound? Nolan had first hand experience this week - "Mommy, my lips hurt. I need chapstick!" He exclaimed as he devoured guacamole on salted tortilla chips through his chapped lips. Outside of treating canker sores, it is hard for me to comprehend the success behind salting wounds as a healing practice. I am thankful for our human desire to better our lives with advancements like Neosporin. I suppose there weren't too many options in yesteryear, but anticipating and enduring such great pain before healed flesh revealed itself; that there is the definition of perseverance. Every scar earned it's story.

I wonder if experiencing pain is an inherent part of the healing process. If we had no pain, no regrets, no remorse, would we learn from our mistakes? Realize the blessings and opportunities we have been provided? One of the audio books I listened to last month titled Super Attractor, stressed the importance of focusing on good energies, good thoughts, and good experiences. When we focus on the light, it is hard for the dark to take over, to be salty about what path life has taken us down. When we embrace the pain, the struggle, the difficulty and focus on all we have been given, we are able to attract and let in the light. By going through something really ugly, we have the opportunity to realize the beauty this life has to offer. A choice to focus on the good. 

My felt board has donned this quote for a few weeks now. I purchased the board to help add motivation and inspiration to our day as we left our home for school and work, in a millenial fashion. I am sure pouring salt on an open wound was never easy, but knowing that some day the body would be healed provided courage. There have been days filled with tears, pain, frustration, anger, and doubt, but I am noticing that each day my load is lightened. I seem to be finding my own way, making progress on my own time. 

So what do I do with these scars, these healing wounds? This past Sunday the gospel reading was from Matthew 5:13-16, and coincidentally it referenced salt:
     'You are salt for the earth. But if salt loses its taste, what can make it salty again? It is good for nothing, and can only be thrown out to be trampled under people's feet.
     'You are light for the world. A city built on a hill-top cannot be hidden.
     No one lights a lamp to put it under a tub; they put it on the lamp-stand where it shines for everyone in the house.
     In the same way your light must shine in people's sight, so that, seeing your good works, they may give praise to your Father in heaven.

Yes, our wounds and scars have been earned, Pain is a part of living on this earth. But despite our wounds and scars we all have an opportunity to share grace and humility with one another. I absolutely refuse to use the phrase "human experience", but we are all here to help one another heal, move forward, and find our purpose to serve the Lord. 

God has created this path for us for a reason, it is up to me to figure out the purpose, to see the light. Earlier this fall I was talking to one of my teammates about my severe case of RBF - resting bitch face. She smiled and said, "I am not sure what you are talking about, you are one of the most pleasant people I have ever met." I have never thought of myself as a joyful person, but I realize that I am often my own worse critic. Maybe the salt is more healing than I will ever realize.