Monday, November 20, 2017

In sickness and in health

This year has held lots of milestones for my life together with Chasen. Five years of marriage, our sons first birthday, ten years of being a couple, and our first year of living with cancer. The stories, memories, tears we have shared over the last ten years could probably fill a book or two.
November 7 was our official ten year relationship anniversary. Its hard to believe that ten years ago a tall farm boy with dimples asked me out. It wasn't too long after that I knew he was the one I would share my vows with....I just didn't think it would take five years to get there (haha jk Chasen).  In all seriousness, when you are standing before God and the ones you love dearly you vow to love your significant other in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. This year, those words have never been more true.
Each of these experiences requires a different mindset and piece of one's heart. Now we are all human and we learn as we go. No one knows how to handle every situation, or always has the perfect answer. We just pray our spouse has the patience and an open heart to love us back.
I think we can all attest to a time or two where we really didn't "like" our spouse. Maybe alcohol was involved, or we spoke before we thought, or in my case got stuck in the snow three times in one winter. I mean it wasn't like I intentionally drove through the deepest part of a drift, or spun out until I was parked in the garden. (I should mention that it always happened late at night on my way home from a cattlemens banquet, when it was subzero temperatures.)
**For the record a front wheel drive Equinox is a glorified golf cart in the snow.
Anyway, now that I've stated my excuses, I dreaded making that phone call every time.
"Hi"
"Hi? Where are you at?"
"Um, you're not going to believe this, but I'm stuck in the front yard"
"Excuse me?"
"Ya in a snow drift"
Click.
The next minutes, which felt like hours entailed the truck being chained to my car, engines revving and snow flying.
After the snow and our frustrations melted the next morning we were able to keep on loving each other. Every relationship has its strains, and we have been blessed ours have been trivial matters.
This past fall I was lucky enough to have the flu bug twice within three weeks. I mean, seriously?? Having the flu as an adult is painful, having the flu as a parent is agonizing... Mom's you know what I'm talking about.
Lucky for me, my knight in shining armor was able to pull through. As he played with Nolan on the floor, brought me a sprite, and took Nolan trick or treating, I realized how helpless I felt. I wanted to play my role as a mother and wife, but my chills and screaming headache immobilized me to the couch. 
Although it would seem he was playing his role as a dad and husband, my heart was full.
Love when life is good and healthy is easy, fun, and carefree. However my experience has been loving one another during the not so fun times is more powerful, deeper, authentic. However it doesn't come easy. Sometimes it is really easy to get caught up in the moment and forget the blessings that we have shared and overlook the gifts that God continually offers us. This stage of love takes effort, patience, and humility.  Being human, we are no where close to having it perfected, but that is what I'm looking forward to over the next ten years.