The best we can

Last Friday night I sat in the Dyer Hudson Hall kitchen trying to feed Nolan some unappetizing itty bitty chicken noodle dinner prepared by Gerber. I have heard baby food has come a long way since I was born, but I honestly don't even know if Rex would have ate what was in that cup. After coming to this realization, I folded and resorted to a bottle. You see, right now we are at that transition from baby to little boy. There are thousands of books, blogs, and resources that talk about making this transition seamless. Try one new food a week, offer cereals first, don't feed egg whites, etc. No way is perfect, but I believe as parents we all do the best we can.

As I was sitting in the kitchen, I could feel the space get smaller as the crowd at our Seeds of Hope benefit grew bigger. As I held our baby boy I tried to process why we were even here in the first place... Is my husband really sick? Are these people all here because of us? Did I just see someone from my high school? Is this really happening?!

Even though it was going to be tough, I knew I needed to do a better job embracing the love and hope that was gathering for our family. So I put the bottle down, got up and walked out. I greeted, I hugged, I cried, I laughed, and I repeated. By no means did I get to everyone that came, but I tried my best.

Friday was truly one of the most remarkable nights of my life. We were so overwhelmed by the number of people that gathered at Dyer Hudson; some say it was over 1,000. All I know is that we were over fire code. Simply put, if we could capture the love, kindness, and hope in that wood paneled hall, there is no doubt we could change the world.

We go through life meeting folks through work, school, leadership roles, and the occasional night out. We try our best to be kind, be humble, be honest, and to be a good person when meeting people. Never did we expect those acquaintances to give back to us in such a way. With humility and God's grace we are embracing all the feels from Friday night.

Even yet, there are no words, no emotions, or no hugs big enough to thank our friends, our family and our community. But I am going to try my best.

To those that traveled hours to be with us, I want you to know every mile was worth it. Thank you to everyone that donated auction items. Your generosity brought joy and excitement to the room. Those that bid on the auction items, whether successful or not, thank you for your financial support. To the volunteers and organizers, we are eternally grateful for your support now and always. Finally, thank you to our close friends and family, your unconditional love is inspiring.

You all did the best you could last Friday evening, and we are forever grateful. Encouraging us to keep pushing and searching for answers, supporting our family through the auction, keeping our family in your prayers, and most importantly offering hope. Thank you sincerely from the bottom of our oh so full hearts.

The game of life

I originally started this blog back while in graduate school as an effort to share my story. That's where the farmers gal originated from. Experiences on the farm, trial and error in the lab, or new beef recipes shared with family, friends, and anyone willing to learn something new or have a good chuckle. A lot of things have changed in my life in the past five years. My bound thesis along with my diploma now sits on the shelf collecting dust. The engagement ring that adorned my finger now carries a wedding band every day. And our family of 2.5-yes Roxie is included-has now grown to 3.5 with the birth of our son Nolan this past August. It is hard to fathom that five years have gone by since my last post.

They say that pictures are worth a thousand words, but what about capturing your thoughts, doubts, fears, hopes, and dreams through writing. I could kick myself for not keeping up with the past-time of blogging. Looking back, I missed out on sharing the joys, laughter, and memories of the last half decade...a half decade?!?! (I still can't believe it). But as we know life doesn’t slow down, life shows no pity or remorse, and offers no redos. In the words of Tracy Lawrence, time marches on.

At this time of my life I am not even sure writing will help portray the thousands of thoughts fleeting through my brain, but I am going to try my best. It's been a little over a month since we learned Chasen was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Remember those 15 consecutive days of cloud cover in March?? Ya that's when we found out, talk about a sign from above. Those were definitely some dark days, but we know the sun will shine again. Since that time we have started Chasen's treatment plan but we continue to search for answers and hope for healing.

Cancer was a card we were certainly not prepared for at this time of our lives, the joker in the deck. But knowing that God holds the cards, we pray. We ask for strength, we ask for courage, we ask for patience, and we ask for humility. We give thanks for the days we are able to spend with each other and for the love and support from family, friends, and strangers. We ask for forgiveness. We ask for Gods mercy.

I have prayed for many things in my life - to pass an exam, get a new job offer, even to avoid a speeding ticket. Looking back some of my prayer requests were quite petty, and I know I am going to have to go all in on this one.

Tomorrow our friends, family, and community will rally to support Chasen and our fight against cancer. We pray that God will be with everyone as they travel and that we can lift up Chasen, sewing seeds of hope. We are far from folding, but realize it will be a rough road ahead. The way I see it, it will be just another chapter of our story.

what in the heck i have been up to

Hello fellow blog followers, long time no read!  Unfortunately for me, I have been doing plenty of reading, writing, and thank goodness, much more exciting things.  I apologize for the lack in my blogging skills over the last month, but I have to be honest, I have been one busy woman!! I decided to add pictures of my accomplishments to this post so you too can see just how busy of a bee I have been.

One of the most important things I have been doing  over the past few weeks is finishing up writing my thesis.  I am currently at 144 PAGES of diagrams, materials and methods, literature review, and statistical analysis...yuck!!  These last few days have really been crunch time for me as I defend my research on the 21st.  On top of writing and preparing for my masters defense, I have also been practicing for the Reciprocal Meats Conference masters student poster competition as well as writing reports for the annual Nebraska Beef Report.  Now I know as exciting as all of these things sound, I thought I would spare myself as well as you the sight of all this jargon. 

Now on to more exciting things!  Chasen and I have planted a fairly successful garden; despite the lack of rain this summer.  We have planted green and red onions, peas, peppers, green beans (4 rows!!!), tomatoes, squash, sweet potatoes, romain lettuce, and of course watermelon!! I am so excited to have fresh produce this summer.  I love to eat out of the garden!  At one of my bridal showers I was given the gift of a pressure cooker, which I am extremely excited to use!  I also hope to make lots of homemade salsa, and pies/jam from our apple and pear trees! Yum!!

(Guess I should have taken a picture from the east side.  This photo doesn't exactly exemplify my hoe-ing abilities.) 

On the north side of the garden we also have a patch of sweet corn that has taken off. We strategically planted the corn so we have some ready right after the wedding and then again after state fair/wedding season has come to an end. Did I mention we have 7 weddings this summer.  It truly is a year of mass nuptials! 

In a few weeks, it looks like we are going to have to get our coon fence up. Roxie isn't the best guard dog.

I have utilized my green thumb further yet by planting lots and lots of hosta, mums, sedum, gladiolus and much more "farm flowers" as I like to call them.  I love love love the big pine trees we have around the house.  But I hate hate hate mowing underneath them/getting decapitated weekly.  Flowers are prettier anyway :)

Aside from school work, gardening, and other uses of my green thumb, I have found time to use my "wedding thumb".  In the last few weeks I had my hair and makeup trial, first dress fitting, met with the photographer and florist, and most importantly finished my brooch bouquet.  I would have liked to include a picture of my hair/dress but I want everyone to be surprised :)  The picture below of my bouquet does not do it justice!!  It is so beautiful! And heavy!!  I should have Holly start lifting weights ASAP.

On the wedding note, I also had my final two bridal showers in May.  I cannot begin to explain how fun each shower was and how much I enjoyed getting all the ladies together for brunch, especially the mimosas!  We are so blessed to have such caring women in our lives!

Moving to the farm side of things, in the last month we have finished planting crops, baled hay, vaccinated calves, and bred cows (didn't think you wanted to see a picture of this either).  The weather sure has been cooperative for a majority of the work done, but like the majority of the Midwest we keep praying for rain!  Needless to say we have been busy, busy, busy.  During this time Roxie has had many a four wheeler/ranger rides!  It cracks me up how cute she looks in this photo.

Most importantly over the past few weeks I have been living this wonderful life God has blessed me with.  I have spent lots of time with family and friends and will cherish the many memories that are here and yet to come for the summer of 2012.

Until next time....hopefully its less than a month :)

ahead of the curve

While catching up on my morning emails, I stumbled across this article from MeatingPlace: 

GNP Launches Chicken Sausage Line.  I literally laughed out loud, then called GNP out for stealing my novel idea, and reverted to myself as a genius clearly ahead of my time!  

All of these clearly rational thoughts and ideas, as you may remember from a previous blog, are a result of the product I developed in my processed meats course this semester.  Myself being innovative and consumer driven decided to put forth efforts in creating a Cajun Chicken Sausage.  A product that would provide flavor and a healthier alternative to pork and beef RTE products.  So now, only after being out of class for one week and basking in successful product development, I am baffled that my idea paralleled that of a national company in providing poultry products: Gold 'n Plump.

Behind their innovation GNP developed a few lines of chicken sausages: Parmesan Italian,  Hot Italian Chicken Sausages, Chicken Brats and Apple Maple Chicken Breakfast Links. **Note the absence of a Cajun sausage--guess their is still room for the initiation of my product to the marketplace! Products should soon be available in the fresh meat sections of grocery stores nationwide selling for $4.49 to $5.99 per package. A price similar to what I "projected" my product to be sold for.  

Behind the development of their product, GNP wanted to produce a healthier to pork and beef selections of brats and sausages, but wanted to maintain good flavor, variety, and convenience.  Their product is made from 100 percent, boneless, skinless thigh meat, again similar to the product I developed (you see where I am gathering the genius notion from).  Because of the lean meat ingredient, the chicken sausages contain 50 percent less fat than most pork varieties, according to the company. The products contain 4.5 to 8 grams of fat and 100 to 180 calories per serving, meeting the needs of GNP customers.  Further the new sausages are also gluten-free and nitrate-free, and three of the four are also dairy-free providing a "natural" type product that is limited of allergen causing agents.  Now I must admit that GNP provides an "edge" to their product in this realm of production.  But that doesn't mean there is room for my product in the marketplace!!!

The most comical thought from this whole situation is the fact I told Chasen I wanted to start raising a few chickens-mainly to gather eggs everyday.  But now, after this whole ordeal, I am thinking I need to raise broiler chickens (I'm talking hundreds), get a large meat grinder and stuffer and start marketing my own line of poultry processed products!!  Although I am a beef girl at heart, one can honestly see there is money to be made here!!  


But on second thought, I guess I could sell my "secret Cajun recipe" to the folks at GNP and get paid for less involvement....or I could just print off my recipe for the sausage and serve the Cajun goodness to family and friends while sharing my "fishing story" of Cajun chicken sausages persay.  And after thinking rationally for a moment, I think I may just do that!

may day

Yesterday marked the first day of May, which may not be a shock to most of you, but for this girl it was.  For some reason this year continues to fly by faster and faster as the months go on....maybe it's because we are getting married in 86 days, or that I defend my thesis in 45 days, or that I will graduate in a little over 3 months.  Regardless yesterday was the first day of May, and also marked the celebration of May Day. 


Other than it being the first day of May, I did not know of "May Day" until last spring when my one of my friends presented me a May Day basket.  Now I am not complaining one bit considering the basket was full of Mike & Ikes (my favorite candy) and popcorn, but I must admit I was quite bewildered that I had never heard of May Day before!  Was I missing out on a great American celebration, a day off from work, or a reason to send friends and families cards?!?  So I did a little researching and here is what I found:::

May Day is an ancient Northern Hemisphere spring festival from Celtic and Germanic origin.  In Europe it is celebrated as a public holiday (lucky them!). Traditionally May Day was a summer holiday in many pre-Christian European pagan cultures. February 1 marked the first day of spring, and May 1 marked the first day of summer; hence the summer solstice on June 25 (now June 21) marked mid summer.  Because of Roman Catholic tradition celebrating May as Mary's month, small "May baskets" evolved as a tradition.  These baskets full of sweets and flowers were commonly left anonymously on neighbors doorsteps, or in my case presented with a card asking to be a future bridesmaid haha. 


Essentially this holiday has a much larger presence in European cultures with parades, festivals, and most importantly days off work!  However, the beginning of May, in my personal opinion, can still be celebrated in the US because May is National Beef Month!  In the next few weeks as you travel to the grocery store, remember that beef is a naturally nutrient-rich food providing protein, iron, zinc and B-vitamins and makes a great meal for a young and growing families.  Also when you are looking at the wide variety of high quality and safe beef products offered here in the US, envision the individual beef producers that made that product available to you.  Today's farmers and ranchers are the original environmentalist that work to conserve soil and water quality, using natural resources optimally to preserve the land for future generations.  Today's cattle producers also care deeply for their cattle and make sure they are comfortable and provided with adequate nutrition daily.  I am so proud to say that I grew up with a great cattleman and am looking forward to starting a new life with another :)

Consequently, May is also national Egg month, so again in my personal opinion, makes a perfect occasion for steak and eggs-Chasen's favorite breakfast (If he reads this post, I guess I have my work cut out for me this next weekend!).  


So if you didn't have the opportunity on the first of May, celebrate tonight!  Fire up the grill for some delicious beef, and be thankful for the producers that supplied you with that high quality and safe product!

quick as a whip

Last week it was announced that a 10 yr old dairy cow in California was diagnosed with BSE.  Due to the high surveillance system cattle producers currently practice here in the US, the animal did not enter the food chain, thus eliminating the chance of developing illness in humans.  However, due to the reaction from media attention, some consumers both domestic and international, had some concerns in regards to the safety of the product.  These concerns are mainly a result of mis-information or consumers that are uneducated about BSE.


BSE, defined as Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (yes I know it is a mouth full), also known as the derogatory "mad cow disease", is a degenerative neurological disease in cattle that is caused by misfolded proteins (called prions) that build up in the central nervous system (CNS) in cattle and eventually kill nerve cells.  Because BSE is a degenerative disease it causes the animal to lose control of normal locomotion, thus causing the animal to move in an un-coordinated fashion and makes the animal look "mad".  BSE is in a class of TSE (Transmissible Spongiform Encephalopathies) and could be compared to Scrapies in sheep, Chronic Wasting disease in deer, and Kuru and Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease in humans.  


These diseases are ONLY transmitted when CNS tissue from an infected animal is consumed.  By consuming the nervous tissue, the prions present cause proteins in a healthy animal to become misfolded and distorted.  Once this mode of transmission was discovered, the feeding of animal proteins to livestock was banned in the US in 1997.  Because of this ruling, the USDA has claimed this an atypical case of BSE and assumed the prion naturally developed in the animal; likely a result of genetic mutations.

Because of the ability for the prions to be transmit among species by consumption, humans are also able to develop degenerative symptoms.  This is the main reason why consumers become leery during a BSE diagnosis.  In humans variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease can be a result of consuming beef contaminated with BSE, but is more likely due to corneal transplants, other tissues, or blood transfusions from infected donors.  Since 2006 there have been 3 vCJD cases in the US and none of those cases have been linked to the consumption of beef contaminated with BSE. 

Those things considered, this past week the USDA as well as the US beef industry have assured consumers that US beef remains safe because: 


1.  The animal did NOT enter the food chain
2.  TSE's are ONLY transmissible through the consumption of nervous tissue, not meat or milk
3.  The animal did NOT enter the food chain
4.  In US packing plants all CNS tissue is removed from beef carcasses immediately after slaughter and sorted into in-edible product
5.  The animal did NOT enter the food chain


I have to commend the USDA and the beef industry for handling this situation with poise.  I received an email notification of the BSE diagnosis announcement at 1:00 last Thursday afternoon.  When I checked my Twitter feed at 1:45, "mad cow" was already trending, and to my surprise it was all positive, educational comments from credible sources.  


In agriculture we may be slow to change, but we learn from our mistakes.  From the "pink slime" controversy we have become aware of the importance of social media and educating our consumers, and we have turned that into positive progress for our industry!

winding down

As a part of my coursework this final semester I had the opportunity to develop a processed meats product.  I took a similar class at Iowa State, and appreciated the course for teaching the science behind product development and eventually providing us the opportunity to apply what we learned in the classroom.  Throughout this semester we made a wide variety of products: franks, brats, hams, snack sticks, summer sausage, and bologna.  Out of all the products we made I enjoyed the brats the most and bologna the least.  There is just something about it I don't like.  Maybe it is the fact that my sister Holly used to eat "bologna rollups": a rolled up piece of bologna with peanut butter in the middle.  These disturbing concoctions were an after school treat or sometimes lunch for the kiddo. For me they were just gross, which is really saying something since I have a deep abiding love for peanut butter....just not with meat.


After spending weeks in the meat lab learning how to use choppers, grinders, stuffers, mixers, injectors, macerators, tastifiers (ok, that is not really a piece of equipment, but it should be!) we got a chance to get our hands dirty developing a new product. Originally I had planned to make a Cajun Chicken Snack Stick, because I like Cajun food, chicken and snack sticks.  But as the semester progressed, and I tasted my first batch hot and fell in love, I decided to make a Cajun Chicken Sausage.  And let me tell you, is it ever delicious!  Aside from be delectable, the sausage was very easy to make.  In fact, if I get a Kitchen Aide mixer (hint hint) as wedding/bridal shower gift I would be able to make this specialty in my own home! 


I chose to utilize chicken thigh meat for my meat block.  Not only are thighs more flavorful than breast meat, but they also contain a higher proportion of fat (a partial reason for the increased flavor).  After removing the skin, the lean was placed in a grinder using a 1/4" grinding plate.  I then moved the ground product to a mixer, or for smaller batches I mixed the product by hand.  After weighing out the amounts for my "secret" Cajun spice blend, it was added to the mixer and the meat was mixed with the spices for 5 minutes.  I utilized Nitrite and Sodium Erythorbate in the production of my sausage to impart cured color, flavor, and aroma.  These ingredients also have the ability to lethalize Listeria monocytogenes and Clostridium Botulinum--which in producing a safe and quality product are large concerns.  


After the product was thoroughly mixed and adequate protein extraction had occurred the product was stuffed into natural casings.  The natural casings I utilized were derived from the mucosal layer of pig intestines.  Now I realize that sounds utterly disturbing (kind of like the bologna roll up) but I can assure you these casings are safe from microbial contamination, off-flavors, etc.  In fact natural casings are highly sought after in the marketplace.  Natural casings provide a unique curved shape to product and offer a distinguished snap when consuming the product.  I then linked each sausage and hung them on a rack to be cooked.  I wanted to offer a pre-cooked product to provide further safety from microbial contamination. 


I made the final batch of my product this Tuesday, all I have left is to design a label and acquire nutrition facts from the Department of Food Science.  I have decided to name my company Iowa Indulgences because I am from Iowa and who wouldn't want to indulge in a Cajun Chicken Sausage.....my point exactly.  Now that I have my company name down, I need to come up with a saucy name for my product, "Iowa Indulgences Cajun Chicken Sausage" just doesn't do it for me.  We will have the opportunity to serve our products to faculty and staff from the department next week.  Hope they like it as much as I do-they won't even need ketchup for it!


Before that time I need to get a final product report, final product presentation, and final product poster completed.  Yowzers!  It is crazy to think I have 2 full weeks of class, and finals week remaining in my graduate student career.  The thought of having less than a month of graduate school makes me extremely excited, but at the same time fills me with fear.  This past year and eight months have absolutely flown by, which again is good and bad.  Good because I have enjoyed my time here at UNL: I learned lots, made professional networks, and some amazing friends!  Bad because I have realized how fast time really does pass, and from what I have been told, it only goes faster from here on out!  Which in these next three weeks I do not need to happen!